Please Lord make this end. Pabalik sa dati. Please.
I had the most peaceful day last Saturday. It was just with my bed, my laptop and myself. Except for the times that I was talking to you, you never crossed my mind. It felt so refreshing to not be constantly reminded that I will never be good enough for someone.
I had been struggling since I woke up today, confused as to what to do today, stay in the dorm and continue this good feeling or go out, see you and risk the happy vibe I earned from yesterday.
I went anyway. It was good, until I started thinking again. I really don’t want to point things out again because I know you would interpret it as pang-aaway but I just have to because it’s better that you know. But then I realized, I have been saying the same thing since the time you changed and nothing changed back ever since. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe you were doing it intentionally so I would change my mind and just let go, or maybe you were just so busy doing something. I’m just scared to ask you which.
If I could just have a peace of mind with you. If I could just feel good about this. If I could just stop thinking. If I could just ignore the indifference. We’d be really happy.
OCT 8 2014. Total Lunar Eclipse from a rooftop of a building in KNL
‘Cause you tried and that’s all I wanted. 😀 I did not get to see the moon turn bloody orange in person but the picture is more than enough to make my day. I know mababaw and you probably won’t understand but thank you :).
I can’t see the bloody moon above but still, this made me smile. 😛
Although we’re “magkaaway” tonight, I’m quite okay. I know we’ll be fine by tomorrow, I just know.
This is how we got here:
“Missing someone and not being able to do anything about it generally makes people moody, easily annoyed and/or emotionally frustrated.”
Still not done with my SPP Report! I’m really panicking inside and the fact that I drank several cups of coffee makes it worse. I dunno what’s going to happen to me on Monday huhu. I have to go to the dorm to check in then go to Bulacan for the clearance then go to the PBI office in QC. Ugh too much headache huhu. But this is all my fault so I don’t have the right to rant about it.
Feeling down today. I just want to talk to someone but I don’t think boss would understand. 😦
Tei’s really a savior. I got some references from him. He also told me how to get my certificate of completion. Ugh sooo tired of cramming and being really irresponsible when it comes to individual projects. I. MUST. CHANGE.
I don’t want to break down right now.