11.1

I had the most peaceful day last Saturday. It was just with my bed, my laptop and myself. Except for the times that I was talking to you, you never crossed my mind. It felt so refreshing to not be constantly reminded that I will never be good enough for someone.

I had been struggling since I woke up today, confused as to what to do today, stay in the dorm and continue this good feeling or go out, see you and risk the happy vibe I earned from yesterday.

I went anyway. It was good, until I started thinking again. I really don’t want to point things out again because I know you would interpret it as pang-aaway but I just have to because it’s better that you know. But then I realized, I have been saying the same thing since the time you changed and nothing changed back ever since. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe you were doing it intentionally so I would change my mind and just let go, or maybe you were just so busy doing something. I’m just scared to ask you which.

If I could just have a peace of mind with you. If I could just feel good about this. If I could just stop thinking. If I could just ignore the indifference. We’d be really happy.

Advertisements

Bum Day at Sampa

I rested while the ghosts haunted hihihi! :3

Just had an amazing homebody day! Feels so good to have the whole day to myself. No combing. No dressing up properly. Just me, my bed and my laptop :D.

I was able to finish the methodology for the formal report of an on going experiment (or was it already done?) due few weeks from now so yey – not totally unproductive today! I was supposed to study for an exam on Tuesday but I’ll leave that for tomorrow. Too busy pampering myself. Yup, staying in is my pampering. Nothing beats the warmth of my pillows and bed and the feeling of drinking hot choco while it’s raining. I love this cozy day!

I almost starved today, though. Thank God for McDonald’s delivery. It got delayed for almost an hour but hey, when the food is there just shut up and eat. 🙂

Longing for Rest

A week without proper sleep T_T. I’m super exhausted but I don’t want to vent on someone. I just want to stay quiet here in my little corner, drink hot choco and be excited about the coming weekend :3. I can’t even think properly right now. I don’t have energy to be pissed off or whatever.

I just want to rest. -_-

The Art of Posing

Sometimes I just wanna show you that I’m not going to be here always so you better make up your mind, and fast. But the thing is, I’m always gonna be here until I could. Even if you don’t appreciate me. Even if I feel anything but important. Even if I’m just a second choice. I just don’t want anymore to be that person who gave up so easily. -_-

Little Things

OCT 8 2014. Total Lunar Eclipse from a rooftop of a building in KNL

‘Cause you tried and that’s all I wanted. 😀 I did not get to see the moon turn bloody orange in person but the picture is more than enough to make my day. I know mababaw and you probably won’t understand but thank you :).

I can’t see the bloody moon above but still, this made me smile. 😛

Although we’re “magkaaway” tonight, I’m quite okay. I know we’ll be fine by tomorrow, I just know.